Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
