At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
