Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
