If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
