you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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