Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
