girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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