So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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