you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
