my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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