This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
