He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
