Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We got so high we made milksteak
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
