YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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