Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
A+ Viking dick
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
