I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
