I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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