Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nutella sex= disaster
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
