youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
