i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
