Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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