Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
