I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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