I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
