oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
