Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize