i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This baby is an asshole
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
