All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
