Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize