I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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