Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
