How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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