Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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