I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
