She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
