I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
