they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
