she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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