I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
