I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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