So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize