You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize