Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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