I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
