Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
