im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
