I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
