i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
