It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
