He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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