Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I won the penis lottery.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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