I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
