Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
only you would photoshop your dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
