Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
