he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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