why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
