No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
