I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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