Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
D3 body, D1 cock
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize