The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Randomize
