Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
